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As nearly empty-nesters my husband and I were supposed to be having our time now. Gruelling chemo and radiotherapy regimens gave us a year together, and during the brief windows where he was well enough we tried to cram in a lifetime of memories: visits to favourite places, lunches with friends — we even managed a last trip to Glastonbury. My husband died just a year after he was diagnosed and, aged 46, I became a widow and a single mum to four grieving kids, all under I stumbled through my grief, trying to hold it all together.
Every day was a struggle to get up and function but I needed to work and support my kids through their own sadness. I would get up, fix a smile on my face and go out knowing that when I came home there would be no one to talk to about my day. I decided to sign up to some dating apps, asking single friends to help me write what I hoped sounded like an interesting and upbeat profile, and chose my most flattering pictures.
As I started nervously swiping, it all felt weirdly superficial. It was clear that not only had my life moved on, but the world of dating also had too. I jumped out of my skin when the phone pinged with matches. There were men out there interested in me? It felt good that someone had thought my profile intriguing enough to match with me. There were a few short term relationships but none have worked out, mainly because we wanted different things.
Having lost my husband, the most heartbreaking thing had already happened.
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Jump to navigation. Moving on from losing a partner is one of the hardest things a person can deal with. As psychotherapist Hilda Burke explains, everyone’s experience is different and there are no hard rules about when to move on. This can mean different things for different people: some may want to get remarried, while others might want to start with friendship and go from there.
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